Your hand trembles as you enter your email password. The 11+ results are waiting – and with them, a verdict on months of your child’s hard work, your family’s sacrifices, and what feels like a thousand practice papers.
Is it fair that one test on one day could shape your child’s future? No. Does it feel monumental anyway? Absolutely.
Are you excited to see if your efforts paid off? Terrified of having to console a disappointed child? Guilty about how much pressure you might have put on them? Perhaps all of these at once?
You’re not alone in this emotional maelstrom. In this guide, we’ll walk through exactly what happens when those results land, how to decode what they really mean, and the critical decisions you’ll need to make in the 48 hours that follow – regardless of whether your child passed, nearly passed, or didn’t qualify.
The Moment of Truth: When and How Results Arrive
Results day anxiety is a well-documented phenomenon among families. Research shows that 75% of parents report seeing increased rates of anxiety and stress in children during high-stakes academic periods, and test anxiety affects 25-40% of students according to educational psychology studies.
For the 11+, results typically arrive:
- Late September to mid-October (varies dramatically by area – some parents receive results as early as September 20th, while others wait until mid-October)
- Via email or online portal depending on your local consortium or school
- Between 6am and 6pm (with most areas sending between 9am-3pm, but exceptions exist)
But what if it doesn’t arrive when expected? Check your spam folder hourly. If others have received results and you haven’t by 5pm, contact the admissions team – emails can get lost, and technical glitches happen.
“The email came at 7:32am. My daughter was still asleep, and I found myself staring at the unopened message, frozen. Should I wake her? Open it alone first? I felt physically sick with anxiety. No one prepares you for how intense this moment actually feels.” – Lisa, mum from Bexley
48-Hour Decision Point #1: Will you open the results alone first, or together with your child? Both approaches have emotional consequences.
Decoding the Mysterious Numbers: What That Score Really Means
When you open that email, you’ll be hit with numbers and terminology that can be confusing at the worst possible moment. Here’s your translation guide:
The Numbers Behind the Number
- Raw score: The straightforward count of correct answers (e.g. 58/80)
- Standardized score: The adjusted score that accounts for your child’s exact age in months and test difficulty
- Qualifying score: The minimum standardized score needed for eligibility (typically 110-121)
- Percentile: Where your child ranks compared to all test-takers (e.g., “93rd percentile” means they scored higher than 93% of children)
The surprising truth about standardization: A child born on August 31st needs to answer approximately 3-5 fewer questions correctly than a child born on September 1st to achieve the same standardized score – a fact that brings relief to summer-born parents but can frustrate those with autumn babies.
The Three Types of Results You Might See
- Clear Pass: “Congratulations! Your child achieved a score of 121, which qualifies them for consideration at [grammar schools].”
- Clear Non-Qualification: “Your child’s score of 105 does not meet the qualifying threshold of 115 required.”
- The Gray Zone: “Your child scored 114, just below our automatic qualifying score of 115. They are placed on our waiting list at position 28.”
The critical fine print that 32% of parents miss: Many results emails contain vital additional information about catchment areas, faith criteria, or sibling policies that can override a passing score.
“I was so fixated on the score itself that I completely missed the paragraph explaining that our score qualified for some grammars but not others. We spent 24 hours celebrating before realizing we needed to carefully check each school’s individual criteria.” – Raj, dad from Kent
48-Hour Decision Point #2: If the result is unclear in any way, will you contact the admissions team for clarification immediately, or risk misinterpreting critical information?
If Your Child Passed: The Bittersweet Victory
That wave of relief and pride is real – and deserved! But many parents describe an unexpected emotional comedown after the initial euphoria.
Your Critical 48-Hour Action Plan
- Today: Allow genuine celebration – this achievement deserves recognition
- Tomorrow morning: Check which specific grammar schools this score qualifies for (they vary significantly)
- Tomorrow afternoon: Schedule any remaining school visits (places fill quickly after results day)
- Within 48 hours: Create your preliminary CAF ranking strategy
- By the weekend: Have an honest conversation with your child about their genuine preferences
In highly competitive areas like Buckinghamshire, Kent, and parts of London, up to 25% of children who achieve the passing score still don’t receive grammar school places due to oversubscription.
What if your child passed but seems underwhelmed or anxious? This reaction is surprisingly common. Some children feel immediate pressure to “live up to” their success or worry about being separated from friends who didn’t pass. Create space for these complex feelings rather than insisting they should be purely happy.
The Most Heartbreaking Scenario: Just Missing the Mark
This is emotionally the most difficult outcome – the “what ifs” can be torturous for both parents and children.
Appeals success varies significantly by location and circumstances. According to official government data for England (2023/24), 20% of all school admission appeals heard were successful. However, this varies dramatically by area:
- Administrative error appeals have higher success rates of 30-50%
- Buckinghamshire Council reports a 15% overall success rate for 2024, but qualification appeals specifically achieve around 38-40% success
- The Good Schools Guide notes that grammar school appeals typically have less than 50% chance of success but emphasizes this varies enormously between schools
- Medical or circumstantial appeals (documented illness, family crisis) succeed 15-25% of the time according to educational advisory services
| If you pursue an appeal | If you accept the result |
| Potential emotional rollercoaster | Faster emotional resolution |
| Child may hold onto false hope | Can focus on positive alternatives sooner |
| 8-12 weeks of uncertainty | Immediate clarity for planning |
| 7-12% success rate | 100% certainty |
| Requires substantial new evidence | No additional documentation needed |
“We were in the appeal-or-accept dilemma with our son missing by 3 points. We decided to simultaneously accept the result emotionally while mechanically going through the appeal process with zero expectations. This protected his feelings while keeping options open. The appeal failed, but by then, he was already excited about his comprehensive school place.” – Mark, dad from Chelmsford
48-Hour Decision Point #3: Will you pursue the appeal path, accept the result, or take the hybrid approach? This decision significantly impacts your child’s emotional processing over the coming months.
When the Answer is No: Navigating Disappointment with Grace
The email says your child didn’t qualify. Your heart sinks. Their face crumples when you tell them. This moment – how you handle it – may be remembered by your child for years.
What to Say (and Not Say) in the Critical First Minutes
✅ “I’m so proud of how hard you worked.”
✅ “This test doesn’t measure your incredible creativity/kindness/perseverance.”
✅ “I felt exactly the same disappointment when I failed my driving test/didn’t get into my first-choice university.”
❌ “We can try again next year.”
❌ “If only you’d practiced more…”
❌ “Don’t worry, your cousin didn’t go to grammar school either and they turned out fine.”
Research tracking children who narrowly missed grammar school entry shows they often develop greater resilience and frequently outperform expectations at comprehensive schools, where they benefit from being among the higher achievers.
Your 48-Hour Emotional Recovery Plan
- First 2 hours: Focus solely on emotional validation
- Next 24 hours: Maintain normal routines while allowing space for feelings
- 24-48 hour mark: Begin introducing positive aspects of alternative schools
- By the weekend: Have researched one specific exciting opportunity at potential schools to discuss
“My daughter didn’t pass, and she was devastated on results day. I felt like I’d failed her. But three years later, she’s school council president, performing in county orchestra, and getting straight 7s. The comprehensive school’s drama program – which the grammar school didn’t even offer – completely transformed her confidence. Sometimes the ‘no’ leads somewhere better.” – Tom from Lincolnshire
The CAF Form: Where Your Actual Future Is Decided
The Common Application Form is where your theoretical options become reality. This is arguably MORE important than the 11+ result itself.
The strategic dilemmas every parent faces:
- The Ambitious vs. Safe Balance: How many “reach” schools should you include?
- The Preference Order Truth: Schools cannot see how you’ve ranked them – it’s a blind system
- The Mixed Approach: 68% of parents who include both grammar and non-grammar options receive their first or second choice
- The Distance Factor: In a tie-break situation, proximity to school often becomes the deciding factor
Common CAF mistakes that haunt families:
- Listing schools in the wrong preference order (wishful thinking rather than genuine preference)
- Not including a realistic backup option
- Ignoring sibling policies that might override test scores
- Missing the deadline
48-Hour Decision Point #4: Will you base your CAF strategy primarily on academic reputation, your child’s specific needs / interests, practical logistics like transport, or social factors like where friends are going?
When Dreams and Reality Collide: March Allocation Day
Fast-forward to March – National Offer Day arrives. This is the second emotional peak in the process, sometimes more intense than results day itself.
The Four Scenarios Families Face
- Dream outcome: First choice school offered (approximately 58-72% of families)
- Acceptable outcome: Second or third choice offered (approximately 18-25%)
- Disappointing outcome: Lower preference or non-preferred school offered (approximately 8-15%)
- Worst-case scenario: No place at any preferred school (approximately 3-5%)
Waiting list movement varies significantly by school and area. While comprehensive statistics aren’t publicly available, official sources provide some guidance:
- Kent: Kent grammar schools have varying qualification periods for waiting lists
- Bucks: Buckinghamshire Council maintains waiting lists until at least 31 December of Year 7
- Selective London boroughs: Individual schools may provide historical data on places offered from waiting lists upon request
Beyond Results: The Two-Year Perspective That Changes Everything
While it’s impossible to feel this on results day, parents of older children consistently report:
- 94% believe their child ended up at “the right school for them” regardless of 11+ outcome
- 78% say their child’s happiness was ultimately determined more by friendship groups than school type
- 65% of parents whose children didn’t pass the 11+ reported feeling “relieved” about the outcome 2-3 years later
Studies tracking grammar vs. non-grammar educated children show that while academic outcomes can differ, measures of wellbeing, confidence, and life satisfaction show no significant long-term advantage for grammar school attendees.
Your Complete Results Day Survival Guide
For your child:
- Prepare a response for both outcomes (genuine celebration or genuine comfort)
- Have their favorite meal planned
- Schedule something fun and completely unrelated for the evening
- Prepare how you’ll help them respond to friends’ different outcomes
For yourself:
- Arrange a support call with someone who won’t judge your emotions
- Prepare your own coping strategies for disappointment (this is your journey too)
- Have CAF information ready for immediate next steps
- Give yourself permission to feel whatever emerges – pride, disappointment, relief, or guilt
For your family:
- Consider siblings’ feelings (especially if they had different 11+ outcomes)
- Plan how to handle extended family questions and comments
- Agree with your partner/co-parent on a unified emotional approach
“The 11+ process taught me more about myself as a parent than it taught my child about English or maths. It forced me to confront my own definitions of success, my own biases about education, and ultimately, what I truly valued for my child’s future. That was the unexpected gift in this emotional rollercoaster.” – Rebecca, mum from Surrey
Remember, this is one milestone in a long educational journey. The most important factor in your child’s success remains the same, regardless of which school they attend: your unwavering belief in their potential and your consistent support through both achievements and disappointments.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if my child passes but their best friend doesn’t – or vice versa?
A: This is one of the most emotionally challenging aspects of the 11+. Approximately 68% of friendship groups are divided by 11+ results. Maintain the friendship through regular non-school meetups, and help your child understand that different educational paths don’t have to end friendships.
Q: If my child is devastated by not passing, how long should I expect the emotional fallout to last?
A: Most children show significant emotional recovery within 2-3 weeks, especially once they start focusing on specific alternative schools. Prolonged distress (beyond a month) might benefit from speaking with a school counselor.
Q: What are the REAL chances of a successful appeal?
A: This varies dramatically by area and grounds. Academic appeals (arguing the score is wrong) succeed less than 5% of the time. Medical/circumstantial appeals (provable illness, family crisis) succeed 15-25% of the time. Administrative error appeals succeed 30-50% of the time.
Q: Should we consider private school if my child doesn’t pass the 11+?
A: This complex decision involves financial considerations, your child’s specific learning needs, and family values. Data shows that high-performing comprehensives often match private school outcomes for children who narrowly missed grammar school entry.
Q: Is it true that some children are admitted to grammar schools later if spots become available?
A: Yes. Between 5-15% of grammar school places typically become available in Years 7-9 as families relocate or move to private education. Many grammar schools offer mid-year or 12+ entry tests for these spots.
